Election Eve Bingo

Posted 11/02/2026 · ← All field reports

Full disclosure: this is commentary and jokes. Facts come from the linked reports, so click through and judge for yourself. The party kits linked here are our own products.

The midterms are tomorrow, which means tonight is the most sacred night on the American calendar: the night everyone decides in advance what they'll be mad about on Wednesday. The president posted a mystery Elvis face, CNN handed out a bingo card of conspiracy theories, a Michigan Democrat swapped teams at the buzzer and a Hollywood action hero admitted he forgot about a UFO. Grab a dauber. Open the folder.

Exhibit A: Elvis has entered the ballot

Late Sunday night, President Trump posted an uncaptioned image to Truth Social showing his face split down the middle with a young Elvis Presley's, as the Trump's Truth archive recorded. The Daily Beast notes he posted the same picture in February 2024 with the line, "For so many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike." The New Republic called it his closing midterm message.

No caption. No explanation. Just vibes and a sideburn. Naturally, our corkboard already has three strings on it. Theory one: it's a coded message. Theory two: it's an Elvis-is-alive confession. Theory three, the boring one that's probably right: a man likes a picture of himself. Meanwhile, the people who spent years insisting Elvis faked his death are now in a tough spot, because if the King is alive, he has some explaining to do about this endorsement.

Exhibit B: CNN prints the bingo card for us

CNN's Donie O'Sullivan published a field guide to the conspiracy theories you'll likely see on Election Day, calling the day "the Super Bowl for misinformation." The squares, per CNN and a Quartz summary, include printer jams and late openings framed as fraud, videos claiming a machine flipped a vote, AI-made fake videos of ballots being destroyed and early leads that shrink once mail ballots get counted.

We respect a field guide. We make field guides. But here's the skeptic twist: a list of "things that will look suspicious tomorrow" is also a list of things worth actually checking. Check the boring stuff first. A jammed printer is usually just a jammed printer, because printers have hated humanity since 1985. A shocking video with no source, no date and a suspiciously perfect angle deserves a reverse image search before a retweet. And if anyone, on any side, declares victory or fraud at 8:15 p.m. with 3% reporting, put them on the bingo card too. That square is free.

Exhibit C: The buzzer-beater plot twist

In Michigan, Democratic Rep. Haley Stevens, who lost her party's Senate primary, endorsed Republican Senate nominee Mike Rogers on Sunday, according to The New Republic, which reports she had previously called him a "rubber stamp" and that her official staff resigned.

Conspiracy culture loves a secret switch, but this one was announced on video. That's the funny part about politics: the real plot twists usually happen in broad daylight, with a press conference and a podium. Fans of either party who think "our side would never" are invited to look at this week and reconsider.

Exhibit D: Thirteen hours of magic walls

Deadline reports NBC is planning 13 straight hours of election coverage, Fox News will have an AI-powered chatbot on its app, and for the first time since 2016 all the major networks are using the same exit poll. TheWrap adds that Telemundo's set will be 80% virtual.

So every network shares one exit poll, then spends 13 hours telling you it's the only one you can trust. And an 80% virtual set means the anchors will be standing in a room that mostly isn't there, which, honestly, is the most accurate metaphor for cable news we've ever heard. Watch more than one channel. Compare. That's free too.

Exhibit E: Kurt Russell, the UFO witness who forgot

Palate cleanser. VICE revisits Kurt Russell's story that he was the pilot who reported six lights in a V shape over Phoenix on March 13, 1997, the night of the famous Phoenix Lights. In his telling, he radioed it in, landed, flew home and completely forgot about it until he caught a TV special years later. The Arizona Republic notes his log book matched the date but didn't mention the lights.

That's the most relatable UFO story ever told. Thousands of people saw something strange, and one of the witnesses filed it under "eh." Believers say it backs up the sighting. Skeptics point out that memory gets edited by TV. Either way, it's a good reminder to write things down while they're happening, which is also great advice for tomorrow night.

The pattern on the corkboard

Connect the dots and tonight's theme is performance. A face swap with no caption, a field guide to fake videos, a podium plot twist and a virtual set. Everybody's putting on a show. The skeptic move doesn't change: slow down, check the source and don't let anybody, from any party or any network, do your thinking for you on Wednesday morning.

More field reports: Who Gets the Aliens in the Divorce? and The Halloween Files.