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CONSPIRACY LINGO

~30 terms. One funny line each. Use responsibly at parties.

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Full disclosure: Political rabbit holes below are for entertainment, like Weird News. We roast the spin on all sides. Theories are labeled what believers say. Documented history is labeled what's documented. We do not invent factual claims about real people. Question everything, especially us.

Entertainment glossary. Not a field manual. For deeper documented history, see Sounds Fake, Actually Happened.

MIB
Men In Black. Usually not fashion advice.
Black helicopter
The chopper that shows up exactly when you notice something. Coincidence? Sure.
False flag
When someone stages a mess and leaves someone else’s calling card.
Psyop
Psychological operation. Fancy word for “trying to get in your head.”
Cryptid
Creature that science has not RSVP’d for yet. Bigfoot’s LinkedIn category.
UFO / UAP
Unidentified flying (or anomalous) thing. Could be a balloon. Could be… a balloon with secrets.
Cover-up
The paperwork that arrives after the interesting part.
Disinfo
Information designed to confuse. Bring snacks.
Limited hangout
Admit a little so nobody asks for the rest.
Rabbit hole
What you fell into when you only meant to check one article.
Red string
Wall décor for people who outline theories like crime shows.
Tin foil hat
Classic fashion. Blocks nothing proven. Looks fantastic in photos.
Deep state
A vague basement under every org chart. Great for parties; light on citations.
Whistleblower
Person who brought snacks and receipts.
Classified
Stamp that means “ask again later,” usually forever.
Need to know
The club you’re not in. Yet.
Gaslighting
Convincing you the weird thing you saw was fine, actually.
Honey pot
A trap that looks like a gift. Also a party snack if labeled correctly.
Astroturfing
Fake grassroots. Real lawn care energy.
Shadow government
The committee that never puts their names on the invite.
Plausible deniability
“I was never here,” printed on official letterhead.
Controlled opposition
Critics who somehow always stay on script.
Follow the money
Detective advice that also works at bake sales.
Sheeple
Rude nickname for people who skip the homework. Don’t be that guest.
The narrative
The story you’re told before the footnotes.
Off-books
Not in the binder they show the inspector.
Compartmentalization
Everyone knows a piece. Nobody gets the puzzle box.
Useful idiot
Someone helping a plot without reading the plot. Don’t be one.
Gone dark
Stopped posting. Possibly on vacation. Possibly in a bunker.
Trust no one
Party rule #1. Except the snack table. Trust the snack table.

Political & QAnon lingo

Same joke density. Extra salt. Labels matter.

Q drop
An anonymous post believers treat like scripture. Bring a grain of salt the size of a salt mine.
WWG1WGA
Where We Go One We Go All. Rally chant. Also a reminder that group chats escalate.
The Storm
QAnon phrase for a coming reckoning. Weather apps remain unimpressed.
The Great Awakening
Believers say: mass enlightenment incoming. Documented: a lot of YouTube thumbnails.
Deep State
Believers on the right: rogue bureaucracy. Believers on the left: corporate capture. Documented: agencies and lobbyists exist; comic-book hydra optional.
Stolen election
Said by different teams about 2016 and 2020. Documented elections still certified; vibes were not.
Pizzagate
2016 email-decoding saga. Documented outcome: a real restaurant, a real armed visit, no proven underground cabal.
Crisis actor
Believers say: tragedy extras. Documented: a rhetorical nuke that often punches victims. Handle like plutonium.
False flag
Staging an attack to blame someone else. Documented planning exists in history (see Northwoods). Not every bad day is one.
Psyop
Psychological operation. Fancy word for getting in your head. Works better when you cooperate.
Client list
Believers say: one PDF ends the elite. Documented: court files name associates; a name ≠ a conviction.
Cabal
The ultimate they. If your theory needs every rival at the same brunch, check the catering budget.
Normies
People who touch grass. Occasionally correct. Annoying to absolute certainty dealers.
Red-pilled
Believers say: awake. Skeptics say: you joined a new fandom. Hydrate either way.
Sheeple (political edition)
Insult for voters who disagree. Works identically left and right. Try questions instead.
Ballot harvesting lore
Believers debate legal absentee collection vs fraud. Documented: laws vary by state; vibes are louder than statutes.
Shadowbanning
Believers say: platforms mute you. Documented: opaque algorithms exist; so does posting through it.
NPC
Online insult meaning someone has no free will. Ironically very scripted.
Drain the swamp
Campaign slogan. Swamp creatures on every letterhead. Bring boots for all parties.
Colonial pipeline vibes
Modern shorthand for "infrastructure got weird." Check CISA before the meme.
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